Thursday, September 9, 2010

Williams Memories

Tonight I walked into Williams Cottage to make cookies with some friends.  I didn't make the cookies because it was past 10pm by the time I got to Williams, and I don't want to be tired tomorrow for moral reasoning.  It's really no fun when you feel like you're going to fall asleep and the world drifts in and out of focus.

Anyway, the moment I walked into Williams I was flooded with memories.  The smells, the kitchen, the bathroom, and the rooms all held me in reminiscence.  I remember the first night I saw Williams, and experienced its kitchen with bread baked by my one-act director and received a hug from my co-actor before things became weird.  I remember the two nights I spent in their during winter quarter, and the love and drama and pain I felt.  

I sometimes find it hard to know how to feel, to act, and speak.  Life gets moving so fast that it's hard to pull back and let myself remember and let go.  It's hard to forget those moments I felt so alive and so small. Those moments hold me so tightly that I forget how to move on.  I remember feeling that I wasn't odd and unusual when I met my director.  I felt like I was lovable during the one-act.  However, that was yesterday, and today is a new day filled with opportunities to express love and be lovable.  It takes a lot of courage.

p.s. St. Charles is beautiful when the sky is slate grey and the clouds keep you wary about leaving the shop you have huddled in to escape the chill of the streets.  It's especially fun when experienced with a friend :).  

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