Whenever I find out that I can't do something I want to rebel. I want to go out and do something I will most likely regret.
One example is my baby Yeti legs. I have not shaved my legs in four months. It began when I had a weird rash, but then I thought, "Why do I care what other people think?" And I haven't shaved my legs since. I think I will at some point, and it will probably happen when I feel the convention the world pressing down on me and I feel that the world will not let me rebel to my heart's content.
I guess it's good to discover everything I can't do when I am restrained. But if I wasn't restrained I wouldn't feel the need to rebel. When I turned 18 I wanted to try everything, but I think part of my reasoning was based on the restraint I felt by my employer. She was an amazing and awesome person, but she has a very set conventions.
I hope there aren't rules in heaven. If there are, I don't think I want to go there. I want to be myself. But for some reason that is really hard here.
I don't want to be watched. I don't want to be told what is right and what is wrong. I think I have a moral compass. And I think I've listened to it fairly well.
I am not allowed to live off-campus until I am 25, or if I am married, or if I served in the military. It's comforting to know that there are married couples who have never lived without house hours but are now living together. It's nice to know they can live together, but I can't live with my sister.
I guess I "chose" this. Well, I guess it's good to acknowledge that fact, because I want to choose something else.
For now I will just have to comfort myself with my baby yeti legs.