Tuesday, October 12, 2010

It Felt Like....You Know.....Well...

This evening I walked around campus and it took only ten minutes to get from the original women's quad to the men's quad to Davis.

When I was in Davis I felt an overwhelming surge of emotion.  But I couldn't figure out how to explain what I felt while I was emoting.  It was the sort of feeling that can only be described through metaphors and similies.

I felt that emotion that makes one feel heavy, and yet excited, as if a door has opened up and the future is lying expansively in front.  And yet that door is like a mirage, because I know I can see my future, but whenever I get close to the door it is shut.

Tonight I stepped cautiously into the Black Box, as if I would disturb something if I walked too far.  I couldn't seem to make myself cross the threshold.  I just stood there with one foot in and one foot out, and my hand holding the handle.  And yet the darkness was so inviting.  The quietness so gentle and calming.

I could feel that calm, but at the same time I felt as if I would never get back that piece of calm and quiet back that I felt last winter after crying my frustrations with the school, my friends, boys, standards, and anything that was weighing me down out.  There is always calm that comes after a storm. 

Maybe after I experience more places and thoughts I will find the words to express the emotions that I felt when I was alone in the Black Box.

No comments:

Post a Comment